Nickel Rant: Mr. Mental Explains Everything You Need To Know About Economics by Edgar J. Steele
March 27, 2008
My name is Edgar J. Steele.
Note: Please tune in tomorrow morning at 8am ET to 2004-Libertarian-Party-Presidential Candidate Michael Badnarik’s radio show, “Lighting the Fires of Liberty.” As Michael so graciously puts it, I will be “cohosting” the two-hour show with him. We’ve done this a couple of times before and always had immense fun. Please join us. In fact, do that literally by calling in to (512) 646-1984 or (888) 202-1984 and joining in with questions (and corrections, of course). I understand that Mr. Mental might actually put in an appearance during the show, too. Tune in via the Internet to http://www.wtprn.com/listen.shtml (at 5am PDT for those of us on the Left Coast).
I heard that! Step aside, puny Earthling. Mr. Mental has a thing or two to explain to your glassy-eyed readers.
Now, listen up, you insignificant bipeds. This is important. What’s more, it is so simple that even your puny little brains (so oddly placed … inside your heads, of all places … which accounts for your limited powers of comprehension) will understand the significance what I am about to disclose here for the first time anywhere in this region of the galaxy.
I give you the key to Economics. Here is everything you need to know: There’s no such thing as a free lunch.
What? Yes, of course that is it. What more could there possibly be? Surely, even you miserable human beings can see that?
Now, watch closely. Notice that there is nothing up my sleeves.
Here is a chart of M3b, also known as the most useful measure of America’s total money supply. Because your ridiculous excuses for leaders stopped reporting just how much money they were creating in recent years, private individuals have had to reconstruct the figures. Notice how the rate of increase is increasing, year after year. From your prior lesson in calculus, you know this means that the curve’s slope is positive and its first derivative also is positive. You also should realize this will lead to an asymptotic curve, which is a euphemism for a vertical line. A vertical line, not coincidentally, is the shortest distance to the Moon, Alice, a phrase that we will use repeatedly today.
Now, here is another chart. Notice how similar it looks to the money supply chart. That is because you moronic primates actually create money out of debt, rather than using something inherently valuable, as any truly sentient species does. Your money is your debt, which means that your debt is your money. The reason these charts look the same is because they are the same, you maroons! Again, notice how close the curve has come to becoming a vertical line. Recall the shortest distance to the moon … Alice.
Notice, from this same chart, that your national income’s increase is not increasing (the curve’s first derivative is not positive). No Moon in its future, rest assured.
So, your debt is out of control and, of course, so is your money supply, since they are two sides of the same worthless American coin. This has serious consequences for those who believe in free lunches. Your worthless, inept, scurrilous, criminal leaders have been eating your lunch, you mindless primates. To them, it has been free. But, you’ve been paying for it all along. You were just too stupid to notice that they have been slipping the bill to you when you weren’t looking. But, now, the bill simply is becoming too big to ignore. Here’s the choice, useless humans: your children’s educations or your masters’ free lunch. You know which one they have been choosing.
What to do? Oh, my! Must I do everything for you? Are you really that hopeless? Is there any hope for evolution in this nondescript corner of the galaxy? Look, all the extra dollars your execrable leaders have been creating to pay for their own lunches and hookers have led to the following over just the past two years:
Notice anything interesting about this curve of the US dollar index? It kind of looks like the reverse of the two curves above, doesn’t it? It would be even worse if we expressed it in terms of something other than six other foreign fiat currencies that also are in a death spiral. All this really tells you is that your puny and insignificant dollar is becoming even more insignificant even faster than other insignificant paper money in use on Earth, one of the most backward worlds in your own universe, even. If expressed in something more solid, it would be asymptotic which is (all together now) a euphemism for a vertical line, which is … the shortest distance to the Moon, Alice!I’m glad I raised that point, because here is just such a measure. This is a chart of the price of silver over the past two years. Notice that it looks much more like the first two charts in today’s lesson. That is no coincidence, my dense little solarbabies. Notice also that its rate of increase is increasing. You know what that means, of course. Yes, the first derivative of the curve is positive, of course. What? Think vertical. As in to the Moon, Alice!
Only if the other curves above turned around, could the silver price curve possibly break down. As debt goes up, the money supply must increase and vice versa, because they are the same thing, naturally. As the money supply increases in the fashion now necessary, the value of the dollar goes down, down, down … which means that the price of gold and silver go up, up, up. Wear that concept. Own it. Make it your own. Sheesh. Enough for today. Here is your insignificant and useless human narrator.
(ahem) Thank you, Mr. Mental. If nothing else, today’s lesson should put the recent silver and gold price corrections into perspective as being mere burps in a progression upwards that literally cannot and will not be stopped. How to protect yourself from Bush’s free lunch and Eliot Spitzer’s hookers? Buy silver. Trust me, it will be the best revenge in the long run.
This is the longest bull market in silver we ever will see, I believe. I honestly do not expect it to end during my lifetime. Remember why it is called a bull market. The name derives from rodeos. The rider goes up and down and gets thrown all around, holding on for dear life. All that counts is the holding-on part, don’t forget. This will not be the last four-dollar correction that we see on our trip to the Moon.
New America. An idea whose time has come.
My name is Edgar J. Steele. Thanks for listening. Please visit my web site, www.ConspiracyPenPal.com, for other messages just like this one.
-ed Copyright ©2008, Edgar J. Steele
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