The People’s Chemist
February 15, 2009
By Shane Ellison M. Sc.
Pharmaceutical companies were freed from restrictions on marketing drugs directly to the consumer in the latter part of the nineties. Since then, an endless procession of C-list celebrities has come forward to give pharmaceutical endorsements.
Starting around 1998 with Joan Lunden pitching Schering-Plough Corp.’s Claritin, it went on to figure skater Dorothy Hamill’s freestyle promotion of Merck’s deadly Vioxx, then to Folksinger Shawn Colvin singing the praises of GlaxoSmithKline’s anti-depression medication Wellbutrin. Then Bob Dole assured us that “the surge was working” in his commercials for Pfizer’s erection pill Viagra.
And today, Big Pharma is getting action from some unexpected actors like a lovable, 62 year old actress who over the years has gained the public’s trust and affection with Smokey and the Bandit, the sitcom series Gidget, and best-known in her television role, as Sister Bertrille in The Flying Nun. Unfortunately, she’s betrayed that trust by signing on to a pharmaceutical endorsement in her promotion of Boniva – the bone shattering drug disguised as an osteoporosis med, marketed by Roche and Glaxo.
Boniva is technically known as a “bisphosphonate.” You don’t need to worry about pronouncing it. But you do need to know that these toxins were originally used to clean up calcium deposits in boiler pipes, and an “accidental” discovery led to their clinical use. I couldn’t make this stuff up.
Witnessing that the cleaning agent was a “calcium magnet,” someone hell-bent on profit – probably a drug-sales rep – figured that it might be good for getting calcium into bone, thereby making them stronger. So they started feeding it to people – after a rubber stamp FDA drug approval, of course.
The medical community has since discovered that Boniva severely inhibits the body’s ability to discard old bone. “Caution: Doctor thinking…”
Physicians interpreted this action as leading to stronger bones. “Heck, if the skeleton isn’t discarding old bone, then this here drug must help strengthen the bone.” Their thought process was flawed from the start. This is akin to trying to keep a person’s stomach full by putting a cork in their butt.
Once Boniva is melded into the skeletal system, it does in fact interfere with the shedding of old dead bone. Rather than “die off,” old, weak bones cells stick around. This prevents the growth of new bone cells, thereby causing the rest of the skeletal system to become weak. Duh!
The net result of taking Boniva is that you become a sack of old bones, held up by a crusty skeleton which is actually becoming more and more fragile over time, the exact opposite of what Sally’s anti-osteoporosis commercial implies.
Even The New York Times took notice. In their article, “Drugs to Build Bones May Weaken Them,” they state that Boniva users, “show a rare type of leg fracture that shears straight across the upper thighbone after little or no trauma. Fractures in this sturdy part of the bone typically result from car accidents, or in the elderly and frail. But the case reports show the unusual fracture pattern in people who have used bone-building drugs called bisphosphonates for five years or more.”
As they say on the late night infomercials; “But wait, that’s not all!” Boniva has actually given rise to a new disorder – never before seen on planet Earth. The Times tells us that Boniva can cause “jawbones to rot and die!” Physicians are calling this Dead Jaw. This is actually perfect.
In light of the dead Jaw findings, Boniva can now be used for the off-label use of eradicating pharmaceutical’s chattering drug reps!
As an added bonus; side effects of Boniva may include – severe and occasionally incapacitating bone, joint and/or muscle pain, eye redness and/or tenderness, heavy jaw feeling, loosening of a tooth, pain, swelling, or numbness in the mouth or jaw, sensitivity to light, severe eye pain, tearing, bladder pain, chest pain, bloody or cloudy urine,…the list goes on. I’m just tired of typing…
So what’s the alternative to anti-osteoporosis drugs?
First, say no to drugs. Then start taking cod liver oil to boost Vitamin D levels and calcium absorption. If you’re carrying around excess weight, give your skeletal system a break, lose the excess fat.
The Flying Nun is losing airspeed and I predict she will stall and spin in – going the way of that creepy Jarvik dude. Lawsuits against the maker of Boniva are on the rise and negative user testimonials are appearing by the thousands on the internet.
I hereby proudly give a “Stinky Sulfur Award” to Sally Field for “boning up” to the challenge of squandering her public trust and bringing misinformation, deception, and suffering to millions (in exchange for a fat check from Roche/Glaxo).
Ellison’s entire career has been dedicated to the study of molecules; how they give life and how they take from it. He was a two-time recipient of the prestigious Howard Hughes Medical Institute Research Grant for his research in biochemistry and physiology. He is a bestselling author, holds a master’s degree in organic chemistry and has first-hand experience in drug design. Use his knowledge and insight to look and feel your best in 90 days with his AM-PM Fat Loss Discovery. Click here to read more.
© 2009 Shane Ellison – All Rights Reserve