Conspiracy theories: A modest proposal... ("I also recommended that the government should immediately begin to “cognitively infiltrate” conspiracy groups in order to disrupt them with “beneficial cognitive diversity.”")| Veterans Today

by Sass Cuntstein, Information Czar and Cuntstitutional Scholar Extraordinaire

 

In my previous article “Conspiracy Theories: Causes and Cures,” I argued that conspiracy theories – especially the ones that are true – pose a growing threat to Western civilization in general, and to people like me in particular. I pointed out that since 9/11, a veritable tsunami of conspiracy theories has been racing toward the American shore, threatening to wash away everything we have accomplished. Clearly, something must be done.

 

mussobama (Photo credit: GunnyG1345)

 

 

 

My earlier article, published in the Journal of Political Philosophy, proposed a number of remedies for the conspiracy disease. I argued that some day, the government might have to ban conspiracy theories. (Yes, I now realize I may have overlooked a minor matter called the “First Amendment”; but we Cuntstitutional scholars cannot be expected to remember every little detail we learned in law school, can we?)

 

 

I also recommended that the government should immediately begin to “cognitively infiltrate” conspiracy groups in order to disrupt them with “beneficial cognitive diversity.” But wouldn’t you know it, those paranoid conspiracy theorists imagined that I was proposing that the government conspire against them! What is it about “cognitive infiltration” and “beneficial cognitive diversity” that these people don’t understand?

 

The conspiracy theorists also had a field day with my assertion that the government ought to “disable the purveyors of conspiracy theories.” In their paranoid fantasies, they imagined that I somehow meant them harm. Nothing could be further from the truth! I most certainly do not want to harm the purveyors of conspiracy theories. I want to KILL them! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

 

gophum (Photo credit: GunnyG1345)

 

 

 

The critics of my earlier article were right about one thing: I did not always make my meaning clear in simple, plain English. I wrote that way for a couple of reasons. First, I chose to publish it in a prestigious law review, and we all know that the only way to get published in academic journals is to dilute your prose with a lot of indecipherable gobbledegook. But more importantly, I chose to write it in code, as my mentor Leo Strauss always insisted: Since the truth is too dangerous for the masses, one should always write at two levels: An innocuous or indecipherable surface level in case one of the semi-literate hordes of goyim should happen to stumble upon it; and a second, deniable, deeper level at which the unspeakable truth of the matter is hinted at, but never directly stated. Expressions like “cognitive infiltration” and “beneficial cognitive diversity” and “disable the purveyors of conspiracy theories” are just vague enough that a casual reader might pass over them without registering their full import.

 

Unfortunately, the paranoid conspiracy theorists read my article very carefully. And they broke the code. So now that the cat is out of the bag, what is to be done? How can I propose that the government smash the conspiracy theorists, without giving those same conspiracy theorists more ammunition for their paranoid fantasies?

 

To hell with subtlety. At this late date, I am going to have to just come right out and tell the government how to annihilate the conspiracy theorists and put an end to conspiracy theories. If the conspiracy theorists don’t like it, they can stick it right up their blogs!

 

So here, in plain English, is my plan…………

 

EXCERPT!!!!!

 

via Conspiracy theories: A modest proposal | Veterans Today.

 

IS THIS MAN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD, MENTALLY ILL? (Photo credit: SS&SS)

 

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